I’ll tell you a secret. A lot of people’s worry and anxiety arises from a doubt.. a deep down and unstated doubt that God is really on their side; that he intends to bless them.
They may be a Christian, have faith, do the faithful things, have a great deal of evidence that he is a good God that does good things but they still can’t see that he is really for them.
I only write this to identify it so that it can be grappled with and dispelled because it does a lot of harm in the Christian life, but he loves you. Christ did not just die for the church generally but did have every particular person for whom he was dying in mind, with names and faces and personalities, with your peculiar history and story.
Don’t fall into the deep hole of contemporary evangelicalism and it’s hollowing out of the biblical faith. The biblical faith says, “before you were formed, he knew you completely and all of your days were numbered before there was even one of them”. He knew you, he knows you. With all of your sins and all of your fears, all of you shortfalls, shortcomings, weakness and doubt he knows you completely and loves you.
We need to remember that to God as a father, none of us are very impressive in and of ourselves. God could not make a created being powerful enough or beautiful enough to overwhelm his glory. That’s not what he is looking for in you. Let’s say this, God is satisfied and pleased with what he made you and doesn’t waste time worrying about whether he made the right decisions.
Can’t he just love you because you’re his child?
Can’t he just be him and you just be you?
He’s ok on all of this, it’s just you that’s having a problem with it. So just accept it, that God loves you without a great deal of analysis just because he does. You didn’t cause it and you can’t take it away. He who began a good work you will continue it until the day of your completion in Christ Jesus. He loves you as you were, as you are and as you will be but he doesn’t want you to waste a lot of time doubting his resolve in regard to you.
You are his and he decided before the worlds were made that he would bless you – not because you in yourself would earn his blessings, or could in any way deserve his love – but because he in himself is a loving God.
“The Lord, the Lord,
a God merciful and gracious,
slow to anger,
and abounding in steadfast love