The most dangerous mistake married couples make is to put off marriage counseling too long in relation to the need. Other than that here are a few rules for the beleaguered marital heart.
A few rules:
1. Things don’t tend to just get better.
2. If left to themselves conditions and issues tend to get progressively worse or more intransigent.
3. Words are the most harmful things a person can misuse in a marriage; after that actions then failures to act.
4. Silence is worse than miscommunication. Miscommunication is curable through explanation or learning to understand one another; silence is deafening.
5. Don’t ignore or repress characteristics, clues or knowable conditions when choosing a spouse.
6. Romantic love tends to grow, recede and resurge at unpredictable times in a perfectly normal relationship.
7. Planning or scheduling intimate time together is fair, responsible and if spontaneous time is rare or awkward, absolutely necessary.
8. Your spouse is the primary human relationship you have in this world; kids come next; then parents; don’t mess that order up because it will eventually cause harm.
9. The simple, common and normal things will always cumulatively out weigh the “big” things, events or communications.
10. Anger, fear, pride, vanity, lust, envy and complacency are the marriage killers. They are not rules to be followed but virtues to be cultivated in yourself and your spouse. Handle them or they will handle you.